“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.” — Eckhart Tolle
This quote landed in my inbox yesterday afternoon, when I was waiting for something else. I’m not sure what I was waiting for, exactly, but I was fully consumed by the feel of unfulfilled anticipation. My stomach was tense, my shoulders were heavy, and I couldn’t stop myself from checking for email notifications every few minutes.
I had done all the right things yesterday, too. I am experimenting this week with different morning routines to try to maximize my writing output. Yesterday I was up at 5:15, made my coffee, fed the dog, stuffed the anti-seizure pills down his throat, took care of emails, got kids up and off to school, meditated (not very long–I’m still learning), went for a run, and churned out 1,000 words of the book.
I did all the right things, went through all the right motions, but I was still not content. To be honest, and I’ll just come out and say it, it’s hard putting the work out there and being met with silence. They told me this would happen when I started the blog — there would be days, especially at the beginning of the process (and I am definitely still in the very beginning of the process) when you think you put some good stuff out there and nobody comments.
My ego is having a field day with it, but my inner Being, the conscious part of me, recognizes it’s all part of the journey. It’s nobody else’s job to reassure me that I’m on the right path. I know that I am (well, I’m pretty sure that I am, most days anyway).
So when Eckhart Tolle’s present moment reminder arrived in my inbox yesterday telling me to stop waiting and simply enjoy being, I actually laughed out loud. It was a perfect example of synchronicity, which Carl Jung described as a “fortuitous intermeshing of events.”
As Julie Cameron describes it in The Artist’s Way, “Following his own inner leadings brought [Jung] to experience and describe a phenomenon that some of us prefer to ignore: the possibility of an intelligent and responsive universe, acting and reacting in our interests.”
Almost a century after Jung first wrote about the concept, Wikipedia defines synchronicity as “the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner.”
So yes, I am one of those people who believe that everything does happen for a reason. And although I was in a funk yesterday, bogged down by the waiting-for-something monkey on my back, I did manage to remain present enough with the feeling to recognize the lesson. My gift in return was getting a blog post out of it.
If you want to read a terrific piece about synchronicity and learn how to recognize it in your own life, check out Bill Apablasa’s recent post over at theother999rooms by clicking here.
I’d love to hear about your own examples of synchronicity. When has something that started out bad actually turned into something good for you?
Bill Apablasa says
Wonderful post, Martha. And let me tell you. Even if I was the only one to read this, which I find impossible, your words would still be a gift to the universe.
Martha says
You will get a kick out of this, Bill. When I switched to MailChimp a week ago, my email notifications of comments got lost in the shuffle. Three days later, I see there were, indeed, comments on this post waiting to be moderated. The universe has a terrific sense of humor, don’t you think? Thanks for the encouragement! And thanks as well for providing the seed for this post in the first place.
Lauren Crum says
Don’t you think hosting a blog is kind of like having a child? So much excitement at the birth? Moving along during the toddler years? Questioning yourself during adolesence..have I pushed in the right direction? Are they the right mix of kindness and confidence? And when they falter, how do we readjust? And how you wish (or at least I do?) someone was giving you affirmation along the way?!!! Maybe when our child is grown with kids of their own (or your book is published!), we can sit back and say “Boy, I did a great job”? I guess that is the “waiting” part you refer to!!
Martha says
Perfect analogy, Lauren. And beautifully written to boot. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier — a technical change somewhere along the way turned my email notifications off and I didn’t see the comment until today (two days later). Funny joke on me, don’t you think? Thanks for pushing the edge of your comfort zone and going sort of public here. I’m definitely still in the toddler years, trying to figure out which direction this baby will take as it gets its bearings.
jindra says
Hi dear! I do so like that you got the help you need to get the waiting monkey off and the curiosity about what synchronous (at its own timetable) is coming in… ( I reallly like theother999rooms post, thx!)
Lately I’m consciously bringing in so much more gratitude to my daily life – even at moments of great stress at work this week, quite a few times I remembered to count my blessings, that the staff I was directing or collaborating with were just doing their best to help me, to be happy themselves. Keep at it! Love J
Martha says
Thanks, Jindra! Yes, it’s all about the gratitude. And the ego shedding. And locking away that damned monkey. You are an inspiration in managing all of those things. xxoo
Scott Gardiner says
Martha, your post today made me wonder if you have defined what your real “goal” is in writing the blog? I say this because it seemed clear to me in your post (forgive me if this is a misperception!) that you are upset/disappointed that people don’t “comment” on your posts or engage in discussion with you about the subject matter. Is that your goal… to “connect” with your readers via the blog? If an online two-way discussion/connection is what you are looking for, the chance that it will happen via your blog is VERY small. There are millions of blogs and only a very few actually have the sort of interaction that you seem to be looking for. It doesn’t mean that your writing isn’t good! In the online world these days, there is much more discussion/connection happening via twitter or facebook or chat rooms on social media web sites or on web sites where users can connect with each other over a shared interest. Of course, I think a good argument could be made that if discussion/connection with others is what you are looking for, then better to do it face-to-face than online by joining local groups or classes that have a common purpose that you are interested in. You also need to recognize that just because someone doesn’t leave a comment, or even click the “like” button, it doesn’t mean that they haven’t read your post and gotten something out of it. Take me for example! When I read any blog post I RARELY like to leave comments (other than on Kendall’s travel blog) because I really don’t like sharing my thoughts and feelings “publicly” for others to read, and I just choose to not spend my time commenting. But I DO read a lot of your blog posts and I DO get something out of them. I guess my point is that if you choose to keep writing your blog, it might be a load off you mind to redefine what your expectations are. Write it for the practice of writing, or because it feels good for you to put your thoughts and feelings down on paper, or because you need to play out an idea because you think might be a good chapter for your book. You know the saying “dance like no one is watching”? Maybe you should spin that to “write like no one is reading!” And if that is unsatisfying, then quit writing the blog and don’t beat yourself up about it! It won’t mean that you failed… quite the opposite. You learned that what you are really seeking in your journey is a two-way connection with other people and that writing the blog is simply not the path that can get you there! Congratulations… you are the recipient of my longest “comment” ever! Love, Scott
Martha says
Thanks for your thoughtful response, Scott. Why the blog? To explore my experience with the transformation process, to hone my writing skills, to make me accountable, to hash out ideas for the book. I was surprised that I got such a kick out of connecting directly with readers. That was a bonus. My post was supposed to be about learning the lesson of not placing too much weight on reader affirmation, since I feel I am on track with the original objectives. I was laughing at myself, and am laughing even harder now because I only saw today that several people had commented without my knowing it because I wasn’t receiving email notifications of comments since I tweaked the website. I am testing the waters, both here and on Twitter (which I have to say, I don’t enjoy nearly as much as connecting via the blog — huge time suck, too many people for this introvert to deal with — I’m still stuck in the muck there). Still learning the ropes, and am not in a huge hurry. Just trying to observe it all as I make my way down the path. Thanks for taking the time to share your perspective! (And I am a huge fan on Kendall’s blog as well!)
Kristen says
Today, I was going through my email at a hurried pace and while skimming through the titles of emails I started deleting (almost mindlessly). I paused when I came to your blog email and thought, “I wonder what Martha has to say today?” as I admittedly don’t read every blog post. I loved reading what you learned yesterday. Living in the present, being content, these are practices that develop into habits. Keep writing, people are reading and enjoying!
Martha says
Great to hear from you, Kristen! I really did submit that post feeling perfectly content, the lesson having been learned. And yes, it is all about the process of transforming practices into ingrained habits. I’ll keep plugging away at it. Thanks for connecting.