Happy New Year! I don’t know about you, but I’m having a particularly hard time this year reorganizing after the holidays. Maybe it’s because we left on Christmas day for a soccer tournament at Disney World and I spent a week in a cramped hotel room with my husband and three teenage boys, shuttling between soccer fields and theme parks.
Or maybe it’s because Darcy, our Australian exchange student, leaves in less than three weeks and we still have Manhattan to see this weekend (I’m in yet another hotel room as I finalize this post), skiing in West Virginia the following weekend, a White House tour and half a dozen sites in Washington, D.C., still on our to-do list.
So who knows when the Christmas tree will be taken down? And who knows when I’ll get around to making a list of New Year’s resolutions? I’m still trying to get back to where I was a couple of months ago, when I was at the height of my wellness game–writing regularly, meditating every morning, and exercising most days of the week.
I can’t remember when I last made an entry in my morning routine spreadsheet. It’s been forever since I pulled tasks from my Bowl of Rooms, and, after a week without meditating when we were snuggled up in that Orlando hotel room, I’m back at ground zero with my mindfulness practice.
Every one of the habits I had honed for my well being in 2012 atrophied to some extent over the holidays. But I’m not going to beat myself up about it, since I’ve been busy doing something else. That would be LIVING…quite intensely, as a matter of fact, and on a deadline.
A couple of weeks ago Darcy told me that he had calculated his per day cost for the two-and-a-half month exchange program (factoring in airline flights and other expenses). It came out to around $100 per day. He has a keen sense of the value of that money, since he worked for seven months to save it up.
“Every day when I wake up,” he said, “I think about how I’m going to make it a $100 day. And I’m not going to spend my $100 day being unhappy.”
Did I mention that this kid is only 15 years old? Most adults never learn the value of a single day unless they are faced with a medical crisis of some kind. Even fewer understand that happiness is a choice.
That conversation gives just a glimpse into what Darcy has brought to the table since his arrival. It’s been a period of deep learning for the family, in ways that probably won’t be fully appreciated for a long time to come.
I need to chew on the experience a while longer before writing about it more fully. What I can say at this point is that sometimes life throws you an opportunity that trumps everything else. You need to grab it by the horns, even if it means you’re bumped off your meditation routine or writing schedule for a few weeks.
I’m learning that I don’t need to be so dogmatic about my habits, that I’m not “failing” if I stray from the norm temporarily. Right now, contributing to the fulfillment of $100 days is what I’m supposed to be doing, at least for the next couple of weeks. Maybe this is an anti-New Year’s resolution message, but I’ll balance it by committing to being gentle with myself.
The bigger question is how do we learn to value each day with the clarity of a self-motivated exchange student? How do we embrace the fact that it’s fully within our control to live our lives with intent and intensity, so that we never have to look back and feel like we wasted our time here?
How, in short, do we keep ourselves on course to live the best life we can, making the most of every single day, feeling empowered enough to choose the path that leads to happiness?
I hope you’ll stay along for the ride in 2013 as I continue to explore these and related questions. Thank you all so much for your support, encouragement and engagement!
Wishing you health, harmony, and happiness in the coming year, which I hope will be packed with $100 days!
Lauren Crum says
Beautiful!
Martha says
Thanks, Lauren!
Katherine says
I’ve always used Advent, the four week liturgical season that precedes Christmas, as it was intended…as a time if preparation. We make the *process* our tradition by enjoying the decorating, baking and wrapping as a family. We don’t look at them at chores that need to get done before the holiday can start. This year, my daughter invited some friends who don’t have such traditions to join us for some of ours, and it was fun to watch them enjoying simple things like picking out a tree, hanging lights in the bushes, and decorating a gingerbread house. Now, I don’t imagine they will be quite so keen to come over and help me put it all away, but I’ll take it all down the same way we put it all up…a little bit at a time over the course of several weekends, always mindful of the joy that traditions bring to our lives.
Martha says
“…always mindful of the joy that traditions bring to our lives.” I couldn’t agree more, Katherine. I never would have guessed as a young adult that these traditions would become so important to me. Perhaps it’s because our holiday routines have become so important to my kids. It was especially fun this year sharing it all with Darcy–from cutting down the Christmas tree to playing dreidel after the Hanukkah candles were lit.
Yoon Jung Park says
Hey Martha & friends —
I figured you were back from Florida and as I assumed, you’re still running. We can connect once you’ve finished helping Darcy fill out his $100 days!
Haven’t read all your blogs over the holidays as I’ve been caught up in my own holiday busy-ness.
I’m also working on establishing some routine and balance. How and where I’m going to squeeze in exercise, laundry, friends, trips to LA to check on mom & dad in between teaching two classes and meeting a deadline for the next book manuscript will be challenging, but this blog (and all of your messages) are so ON POINT. Trying to have balance and routines are important, but it really is about living each day to the fullest, keeping a bigger perspective on things, loving those around you, and being gentle with oneself, right??
Thanks!! And keep on writing!
Martha says
Just keep on breathing through it all, my friend. These cycles, as you already know, ebb and flow over time. We all need reminders to enjoy the ride. Thanks for sharing your perspective here, and for your ongoing support.
Vicky Timbers says
Great entry, as they all are, Martha! I really enjoy your thoughts on life and your writing style. One of my New Years’s resolutions, a very easy one to keep, is to regularly read and be inspired by your blog! (Your exchange student sounds amazingly wise – what a great experience for all of you.)
Martha says
Great to connect with you here, Vicky! It means world to me that the writing is resonating with you. I’m especially grateful for your New Year’s resolution!
Elke says
I have the same New Year’s resolution as Vicky: to read your block regularly. I still enjoy it very much. I agree that I don’t need to be so dogmatic about my habits as long a I go back to them. Your cronicle of daily schedule is a great idea.
I wish you and your family all the best for 2013 and many 100 $ days (what a wise exchange student!)
Scott Gardiner says
Love the “$100 day” thought!! Thanks to Darcy for thinking of it, and thanks to you Martha for expressing it so well and sharing it!