I am spent today. After submitting my book proposal yesterday, I am completely devoid of inspiration or motivation. I am an empty vessel. A squeezed out sponge. A windless sail. I have tried all day to think of something meaningful to write today. I left my iPod at home for my run today, hoping something would come to me. I came back with a whole lot of nothin’, and that goes for both the book and the blog.
Let me clarify that the book idea only materialized in April when the title Feng Shui Animal House appeared in my head, asking to be written. In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield tells writers they should never ignore the muse when she comes calling. You’ll piss her off. So, after living with that title bouncing around in my head for days, I followed up. I announced to my writing group I would do this. Then I told my family and a few friends. And now look how far it’s gone. It’s too late to turn back, but today it feels pretty frightening.
Yesterday’s deadline was for a book proposal contest connected to Christine Kloser’s Transformational Author Experience 2012, a two-week seminar that brought together 20 experts in the publishing industry in a cool teleseminar format that allowed me to participate even while attending my sons’ soccer tournaments. I was at ground zero on the learning curve, having contributed to others’ books in my former life (when I was still an economist) but never having tackled one on my own.
The seminar resulted in this blog, for which I am deeply grateful. But for the past two months my sights have been focused on yesterday’s deadline. Now that the proposal is submitted (along with only a very small percentage of the book), I just want to lie down and take a long nap. But Pressfield also tells us “The athlete knows the day will never come when he wakes up pain-free. He has to play hurt.”
So once again I will take some inspiration from the Olympics this week. Tomorrow I will start again. I guess I already have, since I was sure I was going to be writing the “I just can’t do it” post today. Can you relate?