Does anybody else out there (male or female) have an inferiority complex when they watch the GE commercial that’s been running during the U.S. coverage of the Olympics?
It’s the one with the little girl narrating while magical graphics play in the background:
My mom, she makes underwater fans that are powered by the moon.
My mom makes airplane engines that can talk.
My mom makes hospitals you can hold in your hand.
My mom can print amazing things right from her computer.
My mom makes trains that are friends with trees.
My mom works at GE.
I loved this commercial the first time I saw it, while hating it at the same time.
Why I Loved It
Growing up in the 1970s and 80s when it was still rare for girls to choose to pursue careers in science, let alone to be supported in their ambitions by their high school science teachers, the GE commercial was supposed to reassure me that we’ve come a long way, baby.
And we have. No question about it. So kudos to GE for getting the message out that they hire female scientists, and that GE’s female scientists even have kids. If I had a daughter with science abilities, I’d want her to work at GE. I’d want her to see that commercial and be inspired.
I also know that had the commercial run as “My dad builds (fill in the blank),” I would have said to my teenage sons, “Why don’t they use ‘mom’ instead? How sexist!” And my sons would have thought, There she goes again on one of her feminist rants.
Why I Hated It
At the same time, on a personal level the commercial rekindled the identity issues I struggled with for years after giving up my career to focus on raising my kids. My 15-year-old son who knows me so well joked, “Mom, why don’t you work at GE?”
“Because I prefer sitting at home all day, drinking martinis and eating bon bons,” I retorted.
I couldn’t get the commercial off my mind. Not because I regretted my decision to change course while my kids were at home. And not because I think it’s wrong to stay on the career ladder if you have kids. This isn’t a Mommy Wars question. There is no right or wrong in the choice that each woman makes for herself and her family. Choice is a luxury that too few of us have in the first place.
What I’m talking about is how we define purpose. How we, as women, define self-worth.
The voice in my head that said, “You should be that high powered professional mom the little girl is talking about…” was the tape that defined my sense of self for years before and after I had kids.
It’s the tape that the women’s movement in the ’70s and ’80s endorsed, and with good reason. We needed a battering ram to bust through barriers.
But if the commercial left me, at least for a brief moment, feeling insignificant at a time in my life when I’ve never felt more purposeful, fulfilled and content, I wondered how other women felt who weren’t building hospitals you can hold in your hand.
A New Definition of Meaningful
Here’s my hope for the women’s movement, and for society in general. That we can broaden our definition of meaningful work. I stopped asking women a long time ago if they “worked” or not. I might ask if they work in an office. Or I might ask if they get paid for their work. But it’s all work, whether paid or not, as Matt Walsh lays out so eloquently in “You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom? What Do You Do All Day?”
Most importantly, we, as individuals, need to recognize and value the whisper that comes from a place deeper than our egos, the whisper that tells us, “This is what you really love to do, so do it.” That may be building trains that are friends with trees, or that may be staying home with your kids and volunteering, or it may be starting a basket weaving business.
It’s not about the money and it’s not about what society recognizes as valuable work. Society won’t be out ahead of us. It never is. Each of us needs to broaden our personal definition of what it means to lead an intentional, purposeful life, and pull society along with us.
My husband, not wanting to be lumped into my broad statement about how society defines valuable work, reminded me that the Olympics also ran a strong pro-mom campaign. Those ice dancing gold medals never would have happened without “the moms.” And I lost count of how many athletes were featured in “Thank You Mom” segments.
He’s right, that’s progress. But my point goes beyond feeling valued as a stay-at-home mom. My point applies to women (and even men) with and without kids.
All of us have the same challenge. All of us need to clear the path between our hearts and our heads to be able to hear the whisper leading us to our purpose.
All of us need to learn to ignore the “I should be…” tape that runs incessantly between our ears.
All of us need to learn to first hear, then honor the heart whisper that leads us to our true passion and purpose, even if it’s not making airplane engines that can talk.
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Isabella Friege says
Hi Martha, I really enjoy your notes, albeit I can’t always give them as much attention as they deserve (and as I would like to). This one, however, touched me in a special way and it has preoccupied my mind for the past hour. I reckon, this is because I’ve been struggling with the same identity issues, but also because I appreciate your conclusion. Not that I have ever seen the GE commercial (it’s not run on German TV), but the point you are making resembles my sentiments exactly, I just couldn’t have couched it the way you did. Well put!
Martha says
Wonderful to hear from you, Isabella, and thanks for the thoughtful comment. If you’re interested, you can Google the commercial (try using GE Mom Commercial). I’m hopeful that the next generation won’t have to struggle quite so much with these sorts of identity issues. I think it will all come down to how consciously we parent our children. Thanks again, Martha
Bill Apablasa says
I can’t believe you wrote this article. I kid you not…but I saw this commercial for the first time last night…and while I too loved the video, I also found myself immediately asking myself the same questions you raised. Whether you’re a man or a woman, it never ceases to amaze me how much credence we put on brilliance in this world. Truth is, I stand in awe of anybody who lives their life creatively and aware, with love and joy for all life. That’s the commercial I want to see. And while we’re at it, why don’t we just put you in the commercial. Great post.
Martha says
Ha, Bill! Can’t believe you only saw the commercial for the first time last night (a pre-brief from the universe for my post, I guess). Don’t you have the skills to make commercials yourself? I say, go for it! And don’t forget to include yourself in there too. In fact, you could have Tess do the narrating. I’m chuckling at the prospects of what her “My dad makes…” list would look like. :-) Martha
CAROL OLMSTEAD says
Another brilliant post, Martha! Made me think of how I felt when they started Take Your Daughter to Work Day. It was all well and good that little girls got to see what Mommy did all day as a role model, but what about those of us who had sons? Wasn’t it just as important that they saw Mommy in a role outside of the household? So I took him with me to work whenever I could.
Martha says
And that is what conscious parenting is all about, Carol. Well done! Thanks for sharing your story and exposing yet another layer of the onion. xxoo Martha
Barbara says
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I will say I felt the same string of thoughts and emotions that you experienced. I hated and loved this commercial. I immediately thought I want all my working mom friends to see this and know that there hard work isn’t going unnoticed by their children. Then I was really excited to think what if this commercial wasn’t representing working moms but instead stay at home moms. The idea that in spending time creating things with your child the message will be the same. The message of “my mom works at GE” was expressed through child like imaginative ideas. I can make trees fun and friends even if I don’t work for GE. I can turn a bird into a strong machine that glides through the sky. I think this commercial empowers women to be creative, use their imaginations and paint a beautiful and exciting world for your children. Regardless of your profession we can all create these memories for our children. I built a really bad “village” out of Legos and my 4 year old told me it was the most amazing village she’s ever seen…..I thought I created this village for her and I don’t work for GE!
Edwin Thomas says
I stumbled on this blog, while Googling what I thought were the words (wasn’t sure about the “moon” part). Your comments gave me some additional insights into things. Yes, the commercial is a “company philosophy” commercial. But, it is just a commercial. Thirty seconds is barely enough time to tell this story, (and build their brand a little). Much less, to give men, non-engineers, and stay-at-home-moms a shout-out.
As an old Industrial Tech teacher (middle school), I found some of my best students were the girls. They enjoyed. and did as well at, the model rockets, CO2 race cars, and screen printed t-shirts, etc., as the boys. And, I’m sure many of them are now stay-at-home-moms like you, with blogs of their own. (I’ll be back.)
Martha says
Thanks so much for stopping by, Edwin. Love your perspective, especially given your experience in the classroom. The post wasn’t meant to be a criticism of GE or even the commercial itself, per se. As I said in the piece, it sends a great message to girls. But I personally would have preferred it if there was a mix of “my mom builds” and my “my dad builds” examples in it. It wouldn’t have felt so forced to me. Hope to see you again! ~ Martha
Chris Hodapp says
For some inexplicable reason, the commercial has been re-tracked and now the little girl says her Dad works at GE. I can think of no logical reason why.
Martha says
Really, Chris? I find that incredibly odd as well! Maybe it has something to do with where they’re placing the ad. During the Olympics when the “mom” version ran, I know they were really targeting women with their advertising (all of those commercials thanking the moms of the athletes, etc.). Very interesting. Why couldn’t they just mix it up and have some of both, maybe with two different kids doing the narrative? Thanks for letting me know!! ~ Martha
mark marshall says
Good morning,
6/12/2014 I have been watching the same commercial and have enjoyed it as well. I have 2 daughters and a “high-powered” working wife This morning for the first time i noticed GE now is using “my DAD works at GE”. WOW, 2 commercials for the price of one.
as a stay at home dad I am feeling everything you have felt concerning this commercial. What are your thoughts.
G’day
Martha says
Greetings, Mark! Just as interesting as the GE marketing switch is the fact that two different men replied to this post on the same day, a couple of months after it was originally posted. Fascinating how this touches a nerve on both sides of the gender spectrum. I wonder if GE even realizes that people would notice their “two for the price of one” strategy. Crazy! As I indicated in the post, this is much broader than a gender issue. It gets to the point of how society values and judges some “professions” over others. As I was watching the original (mom-based) GE commercial, I was thinking, “I hope that lonely-looking little girl has somebody at home (dad, partner, or other loving care-giver) to be there 100% for her.” It doesn’t matter if it’s mom or dad, but being responsible for those developing minds and creating a safe, loving, attentive environment for the next generation is just as important as engineering projects (which we also need, of course). Good on you! Only manliest of men have the balls to be stay-at-home dads. P.S. Are you Australian? ~ Martha
Gary Sage says
Martha,
Noticed the other day that the commercial in question has changed Mom in the narrative, to Dad. Personally, I think it had more meaning the other way. Now I think, “another ad about another dude, working for another giant corporation”.
Gary Sage says
Didn’t mean to be redundant. Skipped over Mark’s post.
Martha says
No worries, Gary. Hope my response to Mark addressed your comment! Would be curious to know how you came across this blog post — did you search “GE Commercial?” Just curious. Thanks for stopping by! ~ Martha
Betty says
Get over it!
Martha says
Thanks for your comment, Betty. Can you explain (after reading the post carefully) what it is you think I need to “get over”? I am genuinely interested in hearing your perspective! Best wishes, Martha
Toni M says
Nicely written article. I am a childless female engineer and I loved the commercial. As a women in a STEM field I don’t see too many women doing the kind of work I do. I am constantly asked by colleagues when I’m going to start having kids. I had a lot people tell me what a great wife or mother I would make when I was a girl. We all make choices, our daughters need to know they can choose family or career. Don’t our daughters deserve the opportunity to choose?
Martha says
I couldn’t agree more with you, Toni, and good on you for listening to your heart. Our daughters deserve the opportunity to choose, our sons deserve the opportunity to choose. What I was trying to convey in the article was my hope that one day we’ll be beyond this discussion. As someone who always believed my life would be defined by my career and who ended up being a stay-at-home mom for several years (something I never in a million years anticipated), I want us all to be both able to hear what our purpose is at any given point in our lives and be comfortable living it (without people asking us when we’re going to have kids or when we’re going to go back to ‘real’ work after having kids). Did you read the comment by Mark, the stay-at-home dad? This is not a gender issue. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! ~ Martha
Toni M says
In addition to my previous comment, I’d like to add that the commercial doesn’t hurt women. It may have hurt you personally because of the choices you’ve made. You don’t represent all women or even all stay at home moms. If it bothers you then there must be something that you want to do but haven’t. Take the cue to go out there and do amazing things. The the mom that your kids can be proud of. Interesting article, but misleading title.
Martha says
I don’t disagree that the title touches a nerve, Toni, and may be misleading. I think if you read the article carefully you’ll see that I wasn’t judging anybody’s choices, especially my own. I just thought the marketing strategy was really heavy-handed (even while I loved so much about the commercial itself). I agree as well that I don’t represent all stay-at-home moms (who among us can represent “all” of any group)? If you read the earlier comments, however, I think you’ll see that the issue is nuanced for both men and women, particularly with how society values different types of work. This is not about working-vs.stay-at-home moms, but about how society places different values on right-brained vs. left-brained work and all the many layers of the onion that comprise humanity. I’m still managing to do amazing things, and my kids have plenty of opportunities to be proud of me, so I’m quite comfortable with where I am in life. I really do appreciate your comments! ~ Martha
Danny C says
June 15 is Father’s Day. This commercial (which I think is very well done) came up during the show I happened to be watching that afternoon. This time though it was about “my Dad.” I actually like the commercial and even went to the web after seeing it the first time to find out more about the underwater turbines. And I too hope “that one day we’ll be beyond this discussion.” So, for what it’s worth, I believe it was produced in both versions and the Dad version was aired around that time to take advantage of Dads day. And there’s nothing wrong with that!
Martha says
Good point, Danny! :-)
Pam says
We live in South Florida, and the mom version is the only one we’ve seen there. We traveled by car to Illinois, near Chicago, and saw the ad still running the mom version. However, at our overnight stop in Louisville, KY, it was the dad version. I think it’s not about Olympics or Mother’s vs. Father’s Day, but target markets- where moms are “allowed” to be engineers, and where they’re not…???
Martha says
Fascinating observation, Pam! I don’t watch TV enough to know if the dad version is running here in the Washington, D.C. metro area. Was watching more during the Olympics, when the commercial was on very frequently. I agree wholeheartedly with you that this is market driven (some readers have told me that both versions of the ad ran in their areas–the Father’s Day theory is an interesting one in this regard). A female executive friend of mine recently told me she was asked to serve on a selection panel for a “Women to Watch” award in Seattle. Like my reaction to the GE commercial, she felt the award was patronizing. Just waiting for the day when we’ll be beyond this discussion! Of COURSE women can build undermine turbines! Of COURSE all talents should be valued equally (both left-brained and right-brained), provided by both men and women alike. Thanks for sharing your perspective! ~ Martha
Linda Griffin says
No matter what anyone says, you CAN’T have it all! I have made both choices in my life, and have had regrets for both. When my 2 daughters were young, I left a professional career to raise them, and the setback I encountered when I rejoined the workplace was significant. Then when I had my son much later in my life, I chose to stay in my job. Now, I wonder if my son would have been better off had I stay home to raise him. I suppose the people who don’t look back at their decisions with regrets are better off.
Martha says
“I suppose the people who don’t look back at their decision with regrets are better off.” Interesting you should say that, as I happen to be writing a book about this very subject (that, and a few other themes). I’ve learned we can do one thing well at a time, and there is no single right or wrong prescription. At different points in our lives, we are called to do different things. If we’re tuned in enough to know what our heart is advising us to do, we can move forward without regrets. I am absolutely convinced that there are no wrong decisions, that even the situations that seem to be “mistakes” were also necessary to move us (or others) along our/their personal evolutionary path. Your daughters had a certain path with you being at home, your son probably had/has a different path with you working. My mother worked and I was alone at home a lot, and I learned many problem solving skills because of that. Looking back, I learned the most from the times I really screwed up. I have actually struggled with the fact that my working from home has protected my sons too much from having to learn survival skills at an early age. But those lessons will come for them at some point (my eldest leaves for college this fall, so he’s in the starting gate). We’re all on different time tables. For you, personally, if you are truly following your passion (professionally and/or elsewhere), be kind to yourself and let go of thinking about past decisions or future imagined scenarios. You can’t take any action in the past or future, only in the present moment. Thanks for sharing your perspective! ~ Martha
Janderbing says
I agree with your analysis. I too, can’t stop watching this ad and love it, but I also “hate it” for different reasons. In my view, this bright little girl is so proud of her mom, but she is left infinitely alone, all day, while she imagines in detail what her mom is doing. At the end of the ad, she is sitting by the window, utterly alone in the world, but alive with imagination. She says “My mom works at GE”. That is all. There is such a mixed message here! If we could see her mom come home, give her a hug, laugh with her – it would be better and feel good, but would distract from what I consider to be a brilliant ad. The message to me is not as much about women having made it in the workplace as scientists, but about what sort of family life they have. How can they nurture their beautiful and smart daughters if they work on multiple projects all day, and must contribute long hours to stay competitive? I think that a successful follow-up ad could put a face to this mom. Maybe the fact that this ad is successful is because we all feel good but have serious questions at the end of it.
Martha says
Lovely to hear from you, Jennifer (and sorry for my delayed response — just got back from vacation). I think you’ve captured the subtleties of this ad beautifully. Love your idea for a follow-up to give a face to the mom. And your observations about how the realities of the American workplace (multiple projects, long hours, and, might I ad, a culture that discourages taking vacation) get to the heart of the challenges that all working parents face. If we want to tap into the rich potential of our entire population (women, men, mothers, fathers) while simultaneously nurturing the next generation of creative minds, we need to start thinking outside of the box. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! ~ Martha
Robert says
I have an elementary school flashback cringe every time this commercial comes on and the young girl says, “My mom, she…” Countless elementary and language arts teachers would FIRMLY correct us for this grammatical error in speech. [Thanks for allowing me this group therapy moment and post. I’m 63 and still have the flashback cringes when I hear, “My mom, she…”. Maybe a sensitive grammar radical in the group will reach out to calm me with a “There, their, They’re. It’s okay. You’re going to change the world.”] :)
Martha Brettschneider says
Love it, Robert. I feel your pain! Wishing you the happiest of holidays (free of grammar mistakes). :-) Martha
Lorrien Vansant says
If you wake up one day with no regrets, you haven’t lived.